Real Housewives of Rhode Island S1E10

Kia ora, hello and welcome to Anyway! The blog where I unpack the chaos of reality TV.

Today we’re back back back again with the ladies of Rhode Island. Lets get into Episode 10.

Jo Ellen, Alicia and Liz arrive in Boston for the Frank Sinatra cosplay. Alicia is still crying as a result of the fight that her and Liz had in the car. Liz is pissed, Alicia feels disrespected and is mad at herself that she can’t stop crying. They sit down at their table and Liz is being as cold as ice, while Alicia is trying to dab her tears away with a napkin while simultaneously trying to hide her face with a menu. The way that Liz ordered her Viola, and stared straight into that waitress’s soul, was terrifying. She was giving the mother from ‘Evil Dead Rise’ vibes. I’m confused why Liz doesn’t have more compassion for her friend in this moment. I get that she thinks perhaps it’s disrespectful to the people that had Alicia and her family stay with them when they were displaced, but the blatant icing out of Alicia’s feelings is wild. Where’s the empathy?

Jo Ellen and Alicia are extremely uncomfortable and want to crawl under the table. Clearly a go to move for these ladies. Jo Ellen asks how Liz is, but Liz is now taking the absolute piss out of her and says she’s completely fine. Liz finds it comical that Jo Ellen is expressing concern. She says she’s being fake because Jo Ellen was also talking shit about the homeless situation, which is true, but I’m not getting malicious intent from her. Liz is both talking shit behind Alicia’s back and being a straight up see you next Tuesday to her face. That’s worse in my opinion. Liz needs a minute to shift her emotions, which is understandable, but when Jo Ellen says to her everything is fine and tries to grab Liz’s hand annnnnd Liz is incensed. She says get your mitts off of me. My advice to Jo Ellen would be to back off.

Ashley arrives and is immediately concerned for Alicia. Jo Ellen says, ‘oh she just has allergies’. Yeah, she’s allergic to her friend ripping her a new asshole in the car ride to Boston. Ashley says the energy is palpable. Say what you will about Ashley’s dorky, aloof demeanour, at least she can read the room. She’s on the brink of freaking out. Rosie’s friend Monique arrives and has the most bedazzled pants I’ve ever seen on the Bravo Network, and that’s saying something. Alicia tells us that Monique would have torn Liz a new asshole if she were in the car with them, which is also saying something. Should Monique be a cast member? Yet to be determined.

Rosie and Rich arrive and Rich gets on stage and starts singing. Rosie says she’s happy to take a backseat to Rich in this moment because he’s a star. I’m not overly sold on this whole schtick. It reads a little desperate to be honest, but I guess if it’s paying the bills, more power to him. Meanwhile, Liz wants to head out for a cigarette. Alicia says, ‘I love you Liz, I don’t want to fight with you or make you upset,’ and Liz now thinks once again everyone thinks she’s the monster. Alicia basically says the way people are viewing you is because of your own actions, which is correct, and once again Alicia is crying.

Liz and Jo Ellen go outside. Jo Ellen is trying to talk to Liz about the situation in a calm manner, and Liz gets heated. She says, ‘I said I was sorry 12 times and she was never homeless.’ Liz storms off back inside and Jo Ellen runs after her like she wants to start a fight. They’re now walking through the restaurant yelling at each other. Jo Ellen says she doesn’t want to fight Liz, she cares about her. She says ‘she’s like a mother to me’ and I am deceased. What’s the age difference here?? 10 years? L O fucking L, Jo Ellen. Comedy at it’s finest.

Rich is up on stage and he’s singing ‘I can’t help falling in love’. He’s trying to croon the fuck out of these people. However, Liz is absolutely fuming. She says ‘fuck off Jo Ellen’ and they proceed to argue. Liz tugs on Jo Ellen’s hair and annnnd things are getting pretty fucking heated. Ashley is absolutely mortified by the drama. She’s reliving trivia night at Audrey’s. Rosie, on the other hand, couldn’t give a flying fuck. She’s just happy she’s not a part of the fighting this time. Liz pushes Jo Ellen’s chair, Jo Ellen then walks out and leaves, and Liz plasters that terrifying smile on her face yet again. She’s all BYE GIRL. Liz is in the wrong in this situation, but I do have to say that Jo Ellen was being antagonistic. Liz asked her to drop it numerous times and she didn’t.

Anyway, we see Alicia arriving at a celebratory dinner with her family. Her daughter, Celina, won a trophy, which is taller than she is, for dancing. Adorable. After they eat, Billy takes the kid so the grown women can talk. Alicia is telling her aunties about the situation with Liz, and Alicia’s mother is insulted that Liz would disrespect her and Alicia like that. In her testimonial, Alicia calls Liz abusive, which is a woof. Her aunties think that Liz is jealous of Alicia. She disagrees and says her life is far from perfect. One of them says, ‘she’s paranoid from all that weed she’s taking’. Even in this moment, Alicia is still sticking up for Liz, perhaps because she’s scared of her.

Kelsey and Liz arrive at Dolores’ place. Liz is telling them about the events that took place in Boston. Ultimately, Liz is annoyed at Jo Ellen and thinks she is disingenuous. Elsewhere, Rich and Rosie are having a beach day with Rich’s family. He has a big family, which Rosie loves. Unfortunately, the issue with having in-laws who have 7 children of their own is they’re gonna want to turn you into a baby making machine as well. The in-laws ask about the lack of babies, and Rich proceeds to throw his wife under the bus by saying ‘Rosie is apprehensive one’. He apparently said he was cool either way when they met, and now, now apparently he would have 17 kids if he had it his way. Fucking typical behaviour.

Over at Audrey’s, Ashley’s barista husband is looking unimpressed, as per usual. Her eternal optimism annoys the ever living fuck out of him. This man should be thanking his lucky stars for that optimism. Ashley wants to put summer cocktails on the menu because you make more money with cocktails than coffee. DUH. He seems absolutely thrilled by the idea. These two act like they’re on a sitcom, with their icky, quote unquote playful banter. I didn’t like it on According to Jim and I don’t like it now. He says he wants to do what’s best for everybody, which nobody is buying, not even Ashley, because if that were the case, Audrey would be kicked to the curb so hard, it’s not even funny.

Jo Ellen arrives at Kelsey’s apartment and they’re doing a little painting. Jo Ellen is telling Kelsey her perspective on the Liz situation. Kelsey tells Jo Ellen that she doesn’t think she did anything wrong in the situation. Jo Ellen wants to know why she didn’t say that to Liz. Speaking of duplicitous disingenuous behaviour. Jo Ellen thinks that Kelsey is scared of Liz. She calls her scary as fuck, so I guess they’re all scared of her. They reveal their pieces of art to each other. Kelsey has painted a beautiful sunset beach vista. Jo Ellen has painted a Slam Pig. She wins! Give her the 4 foot tall trophy, sorry Celina. This high art takes the cake over dancing!

Rulla meets up with Liz. She tells Liz that she’s still recovering from her illness, which shall not be named. Even though the only other scene she had in this episode was of her doing flips at a trampoline park. Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies. They discuss Jo Ellens authenticity and they both perceive her to be playing both sides. Rulla basically says Jo Ellen needs to keep her side of the street clean instead of focusing on other peoples lives. The only problem with that is she’s on Real Housewives, and being a hot mess is incredibly entertaining.

Meanwhile, Kelsey is with her boyfriend at the gym. I guess he feels emasculated by another man paying for her stuff because he ain’t happy about it. She brings up her health insurance again and gives us an answer as to why it’s so expensive. Kelsey tells us that she had a car accident, which led to a cat scan, which then led to doctors finding a tumour in her brain. She says they had to take it out otherwise she could’ve gone blind, which is terrifying. Thinking about the situation from Kelsey’s perspective, if she were married to him for 10 years and they got a divorce, there’s a good chance she would’ve received alimony from him, which is basically the same thing. I don’t really understand the issue he’s having, nor do I care, really.

At the end of the episode we see Jo Ellen meeting up with Liz. She says she’s not going to apologise before Liz does, but her intention is to make things better, which is kind of laughable. Apparently Liz is coming in with the same energy. Liz arrives with weird energy, almost like she’s expecting something. She then tells us she’s hoping for an apology and some accountability. These ladies are so funny.

It starts absolutely pissing down, which seems like a dark omen of things to come. They both don’t want to go backwards, but immediately start rehashing the Boston night. Liz wants Jo Ellen to know they are not BFFs. Things are escalating and Jo Ellen says, did you or did you not pull my hair and kick my chair? Liz says ‘you’re a freak’ and then calls her the fucking devil. Yiiiiiiikesss.

No reconciliation will be taking place today. Liz tells us that in no way shape or form did she put her hands on Jo Ellen, which isn’t entirely true. Jo Ellen calls Liz a crazy bitch once Liz is safely in her car. Way to say it to her face.

I love these women. May they live long and prosper.

Thanks for reading.
See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!