Southern Hospitality S4E12
Kia ora, hello and welcome to Anyway! The blog where I unpack the chaos of reality TV.
Today we have the penultimate episode of Southern Hospitality, so let’s get into Episode 12.
We’re at Republic and everyone is arriving for the annual White Party, which is apparently a thing. I only know of two other annual white parties: Kyle Richards’ and when Diddy used to have them. Neither seem overly inspiring to me. Anyway, Justin looks like he’s wearing pyjamas. Michols arrives and he’s wearing a white T-shirt with a sandy-coloured suit, which irks me. If the theme is white, wear white. I’m not sure why he’s still dressing like the ground Emmy walks all over when she’s apparently out of town, which they’re all psyched about because, let’s face it, Emmy is a fucking bummer to be around. Bella and Maddi, who work the floor? Are hype girls? I don’t know what the job title is. Anyway, they’re wearing blue, which also irks me. Be consistent with the theme. Leva says the White Party has been going for over a decade. She also says that she can guarantee none of the staff know why they have it and then proceeds to not offer any reason as to why they do. Very informative, Leva. TJ doesn’t give a fuck what it’s about. He just knows he makes a lot of money. We then see someone dressed up as a white rose that also has two white roses for hands. Brad is scared of the flower person. Does the party have something to do with gardening? Then there’s some kind of Daft Punk robot guy dancing about with a helmet and fairy lights. Is it a space-age EDM robot party? Lake is holding a blow-up beach ball. Is it a beach party? I’m right there with TJ. I’ve not one fucking clue.
Meanwhile, Michols is going to have a launch party for his So.Gay photoshoot. He’s got Maddi and also Meredith Marks DJing. I’m sure DJ Maddi Reese, who is an actual DJ, loves being put up next to Meredith Marks, who will be pressing play on Spotify. Lovely stuff. For me, as a graphic designer, that’s the equivalent of something a 12-year-old made in Canva in five minutes being chosen over your work you probably spent hours creating in Adobe InDesign. Anyway, Michols tells us that his mum will be attending, so he’s anxious and nervous about what she will think about a party featuring photos of him half naked. Lake and Brad are trying to reassure him and big him up for his accomplishment. Justin, on the other hand, wants to know if he will see Michols’ mushroom tip in any of the photos, which is a record scratch. Get out of here, Justin. Ugh. I’ve seen people say that they’re attracted to Justin and the things they would let him do to them. Honestly, I don’t see it. This man grosses me out too much. I can’t get past his sleazy personality.
Over at Maddi’s house, she’s FaceTiming Meredith Marks. Turns out she’s super excited for her to come and DJ. She arranged the all-women lineup. Shows what I know. Mia comes over to TJ’s place. She’s reminding me of Carl from Summer House, telling TJ to hug her harder. We find out that Mia is still casually seeing — read: fucking — her ex, Troy. He was down in Charleston last night and she now has a dislocated jaw. Clearly, they had a good time. He is also giving her $8,000 for all of her shit that was stolen. Good for you, Troy. Apparently, he’s also looking at rings. TJ almost chokes on his salad receiving this news.
Michols meets up with his mother, Elise, at Bourbon and Bubbles. He talks about how when he was little they were best friends and she would always tell him it was okay if he was gay. But since he’s come out, she barely speaks to him. She didn’t even call him on his birthday. God damn. The way that she completely dismisses his feelings breaks my fucking heart. Elise comes across as pretty cold-hearted. Perhaps she’s been through some shit and is that way for a reason. But you know what? Most of us have. Doesn’t mean you get to treat your kid like shit. She says, “If you don’t stop crying, I’m going to leave.” She’s apparently mad because Michols told the truth last season about how she is with him. Moving forward, they’re going to work on communicating more effectively. I hope, for Michols’ sake, they can.
Joe Bradley is mulling over ideas for a business proposal. Naturally, he’s using ChatGPT. He’s flooded with ideas. Most of them are pretty basic, to be honest, but at least he’s trying. He wonders whether Maddi can make up a PowerPoint for him. Joe, let Maddi stick to DJing. PLEASE. The world is filled with bad design jobs and I can only take so much. My eye is starting to twitch.
We see everyone arriving at the So.Gay party. TJ points out all the gayness of the party. He’s all: drag queens, gay; naked pics of Michols everywhere, gay; candy on the bar, gay; me and Lake, gay. I hate to say it, TJ, but I’ve seen gayer. Turns out I was wrong about Michols’ mum attending the party, which is unsurprising after that meeting. He wants to take baby steps. Fair enough. Emmy arrives at the So.Gay party. She seems to think she’s a loyal, supportive friend. I’m not sure Brad would agree with that. Grace Lilly arrives and is immediately bummed out because she feels like an outsider. She misses Maddi and gets emotional. She feels like she’s lost family. That makes me sad. I know I shouldn’t be pointing this out at such an emotional time, but I can’t help notice that she’s wearing those big-ass starfish earrings. Maddi introduces Meredith. She comes out and yells, “Who’s ready to engage with me?” Which made me laugh. This show is so unserious. I love it. She also brought caviar from her caviar line. She knows how to sell shit. I’ll give her that.
Lake calls her dad and tells us that her relationship with him has been getting better over the last couple of months. She wants him to come and support her upcoming art show. Maddi is visiting her mum, Mary Ellen. They talk about Maddi potentially freezing her eggs. She says she had blood tests to see if she’s eligible to even do it, and she doesn’t want to look at the results. She’s scared. Maddi talks about how she has trauma with doctors in general because she’s been through a lot medically in her life and has been misdiagnosed. Her mum says, “Knowledge is power,” and that she will be there every step of the way. Thank fucking God for at least one good parent on Bravo.
Joe Bradley comes to pick Maddi up. She tells him about her conversation with her mum and gets upset. Maddi is frustrated at her mum for saying, “Knowledge is power.” She wants Joe Bradley to know it’s absolutely not. It’s a curse. Her proof of this is Reed Richards from Fantastic Four saying his knowledge is a curse. While I understand the parallel she’s trying to draw, it’s slightly problematic in the fact that Reed Richards is hyper-intelligent, super smart. He can calculate risks more than any normal human. Maddi, on the other hand, didn’t even know you could freeze embryos. She doesn’t know what an embryo is. She thinks it’s a full baby. I don’t want to be an asshole. I think Maddi is smart, but there’s a difference, you know?
We see a bunch of people meeting up at Lamar’s for a Sir Wieners sport-watching party, or something. Anyway, Joe Bradley has found TJ a potential match, which TJ is excited about. Molly is telling Brad about the drama she has with Michols. I’m not overly invested in it, to be honest. Something about him having something to do with her being fired. All I know is Emmy stirred the pot.
At the end of the episode, over at Republic, Michols gets an email notifying him that he’s been demoted. He rings Maddi and says the email says, “We will be transitioning you out of the Assistant Manager role.” He’s bamboozled. He doesn’t get it. An email? Leva couldn’t even have a face-to-face sit-down with him? What the hell?
Woof. Do parent-heavy episodes stress anyone else out?
Anyway, thanks for reading.
That’s it for this week. Enjoy your weekend.
See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!